Overall I don't think I could have asked for more here in Toronto - I have Robson, Nate, Janice and her church friends, Nicole might be coming over, Luzhi is coming over, and the pharmacy students and interns at SMH are very accepting. The rotations I've been having are relatively easy and stress free, I haven't had to work long hours. I do have a fantastic place to live and good roommates.
On the other hand though, sometimes I do ask why I'm here. And that's because it's not as though escaping from your vices and troubles by leaving for another city really works. My issues have followed me here, and at a time when I should be and I want to be expanding my horizons and trying new things, I find myself occasionally overwhelmed, drained and frustrated. I was late to work today, for example. Yesterday I couldn't even cook my food properly - I overcooked my bok choi and undercooked my fish balls. Today I'm scrambling to significantly retool a presentation that I'm giving in two days, although I like to have lots of time to practice a presentation beforehand. And it's not as though I don't understand that I have work to do, it's that I still find ways to not do it. And not to mention that I still feel shy and uninteresting, which does limit my interactions with people at work, no matter how nice they are.
So I've decided to step back a little bit and just focus on two things; one of which is my sleep/wake cycle and the other I would rather not say. Things that are nice to have or do but are less necessary - such as these blog posts - are going to go by the wayside until I sort myself out. So hopefully you'll hear from me sooner rather than later.
2 comments:
I'm glad I decided to browse into your blogger account. When I read your email, I almost couldn't believe that everything seem to be going perfect for you!
You have every right to feel frustrated and its completely normal to feel uninteresting in a new environment where everything is different. Its normal. And even in our hometown, I feel that way sometimes too.
You are awesome. Remind yourself that eh? :)
Focusing on sleep/wake up cycle is definitely good one! Recently my friend lent me a guitar, so I've been just playing with that in my room to relax. My cubical neighbour have been giving me guitar tips. Making alone time definitely helps de-stress. Oh, and if it makes you feel any better, I haven't explored enough yet too -- still haven't visited the Parliament! So no worries, you have tons of time to try new things and explore Toronto little by little (like Wonderland with meee).
Looking forward to catching up on Sunday! And I agree with Rae :O) Good luck with that presentation!
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