mood

This week, and perhaps more so today, I have felt somewhat withdrawn. This post isn't really to delve into why, although I could speculate a couple of potential causes - post-interview reflection, the mild interest demonstrated by people to get together over the holidays, stress over my ability to bring it on SPEP, and starting to read an emotionally charged book filled with injustices. But maybe trying to understand how I feel.

My cognitive ability is very much still intact. I just finished my final report for the directed studies portion of my HIV Medication Education project, which is an incredibly exciting project given the community support and the furor over the STOP HIV cash, and it went fine. But when I am talking to people over the last two days, I feel that I am not connecting like I normally do. I can talk about the mundane or everyday. But today, I caught myself repeating the same comments, that are perhaps somewhat witty the first time only, and I felt that no one was particularly interested in what I had to say.

It's like not having any emotional insight, either into others and how they're doing, or being able to add anything interesting to any conversation. I will occasionally laugh at someone else's comment, but I'm not really smiling the rest of the time. It just seems difficult to get me excited about something.

In some ways, it's good to withdraw a bit. I do feel rested sleep-wise. Maybe I just need some more time alone with my books, my pharmacy learning and my NHL video game. Maybe some exercise would do me good as well. I'm not necessarily looking for any answers, and I'm not feeling catastrophic - this is just an update.

Other quick notes: Joey's last day of med exams this term was today. Also met Sandra for tea this morning and had my Artona group photos today with the pharmacy gang.