listening

With the goal to blog more frequently than I have been, and to publish more (rather than having a bunch of unfinished posts hidden in the back here), I may be posting shorter thoughts in the near future. I guess I can always take something down and expand upon it later.

People have said that I am a good listener. I say "have said" because while it may often still be true, these days I must make sure that I actually do listen. It's not hard to, because I enjoy listening actively to others, but I need to ensure that I am fully present and also not trying to get my own point across too much (somewhat of an ego-check). I guess these things go in cycles, so once I am out of university (me being at the top of the food chain now), perhaps I will go back to my roots of active listening by default.

My thought for today is about "i just want you to listen to me," whether that is said explicitly or implied. When I get dumped on - when people just rant or complain about something - is it fair to expect that I just listen? What if it happens again and again? In many ways, I think it is. As a health care professional, it's our job to listen to our patients and understand them from a holistic point of view. And in many ways, listening is absolutely key for me to learn about others and support them.

However, I'll suggest a few contrasts. One is if this is in the personal setting, so not when I'm a pharmacy student listening about health concerns. The other (which could happen at the same time) is if, in my opinion, the complaining is not therapeutic in nature? As in, if talking about something that is frustrating is not the best thing that you could be doing? Often, with my self-declared "talent" for problem solving - as well as my INTJ personality with close to 90% "judgmental," meaning that I will almost definitely have an opinion - I can identify the problem and suggest a resolution. But the frustrating thing is if you don't listen, if you don't want to listen or if the people involved don't do what they should be doing (in my mind).

So. Is it fair to expect me to listen to something ridiculous? Something that could be fixed, but you don't want to hear it. Let's say, something that's hard to listen to, and that I have to listen to over and over again because you haven't fixed it, and because you can't internalize it or accept it and so it comes out, harshly, needing someone to affirm your frustration, to "listen," only, and perhaps irrespective of how I'm feeling, or what I need to say or be heard to say.